Eager to dive into dominance and submission and learn about how much naughtier the sex you’re having could be? This article will help you dive into BDSM, learning about all the fun bits, as well as important aspects like men’s health, how to get into BDSM for beginners, and how to stay safe. Read on to learn more!
BDSM And What Does it Mean?
BDSM means Bondage, Domination (Discipline), Sadism (Submission), and Masochism. While BDSM encompasses many different kinks and fetishes, these are the main aspects you should expect to see.
The most popular section is dominance and submission, which lets you experience power play scenarios. These can begin as fairly tame, but you can quickly escalate how intense it can be.
What Kinds of Sexual Activities Can You Expect in BDSM Play?
BDSM beginners might get overwhelmed by the sheer variety of sexual acts they can get introduced to. Here’s a handy list of different BDSM practices to help you get started with BDSM for beginners:
- Power play: The fundamentals of every BDSM play session are dominance and submission. The power dynamic between the couple is what makes it so erotic, even outside of the sexual activities. In beginner’s BDSM, this is a good way to lead into more intense kinks.
- Temperature play: Based on heat and cold, temperature play can involve hot wax, chocolate syrup, ice, chilled fruit, and so on. They’re typically placed over an erogenous zone and sometimes paired with blindfolds to increase the intensity.
- Bondage play: One of the most popular and fun aspects of BDSM for beginners, bondage play is an easy way to get into the BDSM scene. You can tie or get tied up using nylon rope, bondage tape, belts, and more. It’s a great kink for exploring power dynamics and is easy to learn.
- Knife play: This kink involves where one partner will have sharp (or sometimes blunt) knives pressed against their skin, though typically no blood flows. Typically the dominant partner will restrict the submissive with rope or even treat them to sensory deprivation using blindfolds beforehand.
- Orgasm denial: Varying in types, such as teasing and denial, total denial, or even the use of chastity belts, orgasm denial intends to stop the submissive partner from orgasm. This can be a complete lack of direct sexual stimulation or simply edging with no release.
- Pain play: This encompasses many aspects of BDSM where one partner can experience pain in a pleasurable way, such as through hair pulling, spanking, discipline bondage, and so on. Inflicting pain can also be enjoyable for the dom.
- Sensation play: This can be as vanilla or as extreme as the dominant prefers. They control the kinds of sensations the submissive gets to experience, such as kissing, tickling, biting, scratching, spanking, and so on.
- Impact play: Ranging from light spanking to full-on whipping, impact play is a great way to experience beginner’s BDSM. Different types of whips, belts, paddles, and even your own hand can be used. Getting lightly spanked to start your BDSM activities will help you start slow and advance to much more intense kinks.
- Breath play: This is erotic asphyxiation, or the restriction of oxygen to intensify a sexual experience. You could use simple things such as your hands, a belt, or a tie. If you wish to be safer, you can simulate the feeling of asphyxia by restricting blood flow by squeezing the sides of your partner’s neck.
- Role play: Live out your wildest fantasies with your partner in BDSM with roleplay scenarios. This is a great place to have your submissive partner try out power exchange by telling them to pretend to be someone else or even act out the popular roleplay scenarios like a boss and his secretary or a professor and his student.
And not the last thing that is included in the category. Whether it’s squirting or a golden shower, they all fall under the water sports category.
What is Risk Aware Consensual Kink?
The RACK letters stand for Risk Accepted (Aware) Consensual Kink, which refers to the core of every BDSM session. It means that even though some sexual behaviors can be risky, they’re allowed as long as all the parties involved are fully aware of the risks they may carry, give consent, as well as knowing how to stop and take care of their partner in case of an emergency.
The community holds RACK in high regard, and it’s important to learn about it before you begin BDSM for beginners.
What Should You Keep in Mind When Meeting a BDSM Partner?
There are a few things to take note of when you’re planning on meeting a partner for BDSM:
- Meet in a public space. That first meeting can be unnerving, and meeting in a public area like a cafe or a restaurant can put you at ease.
- Establish that you’re into BDSM for beginners. Your partner should know you’re new to BDSM and make you feel comfortable.
- Discuss elements like a submissive role, power exchange scenarios, and so on to make sure you’re both on the same page about what you expect.
And last. Make sure they provide aftercare. Not receiving aftercare can be mentally harmful. It’s important to have a cooldown after your intense
How to Stay Safe in BDSM Play?
BDSM for beginners can be a bit daunting, especially when you’re going into a whole new type of sexual tension without much experience. After all, there’s only so much you can learn from reading. Here are some things to keep note of before you begin exploring your partner’s body:
- Prior discussion: There are always risks involved in any BDSM scene, especially for beginners. It’s important to discuss between you and your partner what you’re comfortable with, what lines shouldn’t be crossed, and what you expect of each other.
- Limits: There are hard limits, which are lines that should not be crossed no matter what, and soft limits, which are something the person may do conditionally and requires a cautious approach.
- Safe words: Before you engage in BDSM play, it’s important for every BDSM beginner to set up a safe word. This is a unique safety word that either party can use to halt the sex play immediately, no questions asked. Both you and your partner should agree on a safe word and know to shift from sex to caring for the other partner.
- Traffic light system: Based on Red, Yellow, and Green, the traffic light system is a different take on the safe word system by streamlining what you should expect to hear. Red means you’ve hit a limit and need to stop. Yellow means to play it slow and lessen the intensity. Green means you’re all good to move forward.
- Enthusiastic consent: Whether you’re the submissive partner or the dominant partner, eager consent is something that should never be compromised on. When you’re about to dive into a new BDSM scene, make sure that your partner is as eager to do it as you are. Even the slightest sign of uncertainty means you must stop and discuss it.
What are The Best BDSM toys?
Every BDSM scene can be made so much more intense and intimate with the use of toys. Whether you’re male, female, dominant, or submissive, there are toys to spice things up for everyone! Take a peek at the most common ones:
- Butt plugs: In the arsenal of every sex expert, a butt plug is a must-have and can be used in both dominance and submission.
- Nipple clamps: Typically used on the submissive, these toys heighten erotic feelings.
- Nylon rope/Bondage tape: Remember to think up safe words before you begin with bondage. Tie your partner up, and make use of them as you please. This is a tried and tested BDSM technique. With dirty talk incorporated, any sub would adore this.
For folks who enjoy orgasm denial, a chastity belt is a prime tool. Even if your partner’s sexual arousal is at its peak, they won’t be able to orgasm. It can even carry over into everyday life!
Will You Enjoy BDSM?
Even though you’re one of the BDSM newbies, the BDSM community always goes above and beyond to welcome beginners into their fold and guide them on their journey to experience pleasures. As long as you’re using the right websites and the parties involved are respectful, you’re guaranteed to enjoy the best BDSM sessions you’ve ever had.
