BDSM is a term that represents a variety of consensual sexual practices and relationships which involve bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism. It is important to note that all activities within BDSM are based on consensual and safe practices.
1. What it is:
– Bondage: Restraining a person’s movement using ropes, chains, cuffs, or other devices.
– Discipline: The use of rules, punishments, or rewards to guide a person’s behavior.
– Dominance: One partner takes on a dominant role, controlling or leading the scene.
– Submission: The other partner takes on a submissive role, relinquishing control to their dominant partner.
– Sadism: Enjoyment derived from inflicting pain or humiliation on others consensually.
– Masochism: Pleasure derived from receiving pain or humiliation consensually.
BDSM activities can range widely and may include role-playing, power exchange, impact play, sensory deprivation, bondage, verbal humiliation, and more. All activities should be based on boundaries, trust, and clear communication between partners.
2. How to do it:
– Consent: Consent is crucial in BDSM. It must be given freely, explicitly, and with the understanding that it can be withdrawn at any time.
– Communication: Open and honest communication is vital to ensure all parties are comfortable with the activities, boundaries, and desires involved.
– Negotiation: Prior to engaging in any BDSM activity, partners should discuss limits, boundaries, and establish a safe word or signal to communicate discomfort or the need to stop.
– Education: Being knowledgeable about the specific activities or techniques you wish to explore is crucial to ensure safety and consent.
3. How not to do it:
– Non-consent: Engaging in BDSM without the informed and enthusiastic consent of all parties involved is not acceptable.
– Assumptions: Don’t assume that someone is automatically interested or willing to participate in BDSM activities. Always have open conversations and obtain explicit consent.
– Ignoring boundaries: Respect the established limits and boundaries that have been discussed and agreed upon. Ignoring or pushing someone’s boundaries is not acceptable.
– Unsafe practices: Research about safe techniques, equipment, and potential risks associated with specific activities. Engage in any BDSM activity responsibly and prioritize safety for all involved.
Remember, BDSM should always be consensual, safe, and based on the enthusiastic participation of all individuals involved. It is important to continuously communicate, educate yourself, and respect each other’s boundaries to ensure a positive and enjoyable experience.
Forget about fifty shades of gray, black and red: when we talk about BDSM, what do we mean? What does this strange acronym mean, BDSM?
What is BDSM?
The essence of this erotic art lies in managing the dynamics of domination and submission. It is a journey of sensory, emotional, and psychological discovery (or rediscovery) of self and partner within a mental and physical space of play, where the everyday does not interfere. Play can range from sensual and subtle complicity to the pursuit of experiences that push the limits of the mind and body (the latter experiences highly represented in the media, but not so frequent in reality, as research studies report). Key elements of this relationship are an understanding characterized by trust, communication, sensuality, honesty and mutual respect. This is a central aspect: very often stereotypical or prejudiced representations at the sociocultural level show the BDSM as a deviant, that is, pathological, if not criminal, form of sexuality. Nothing could be more false: in the BDSM there is no coercion, there is no seeking of pain in clinically sadistic or masochistic terms, the other than oneself is always regarded as a person in his or her entirety and as such to be respected and not treated as an object.
A cultural movement
For this reason around 1985, the cultural movement was born in the U.S. BDSM with the aim of distinguishing the practices of an atypical sexuality, that is, one that goes beyond the concept of a statistically and socially defined norm and that clearly distances itself from pathological or criminal conduct. To date, an estimated four million people in The United States practice BDSM.
And as Ayzad says, “Don’t worry, you’re normal!” ethology and everyday hierarchies show us how domination and submission can have an inherent component in each of us, the important thing is to understand it, know it, accept it and, if you want, experience it consensually in the BDSM.
“quiet, you are normal!”
The scientific research
Finally, I feel I should mention one study (among a few) in the scientific literature that shows that people who practice BDSM Are characterized by greater psychological well-being, greater extroversion, conscientiousness, and couple stability/happiness than a control group consisting of non-practitioners BDSM (Wismeijer et al., 2013). Finally, in the life history of these people, there are no childhood experiences of abuse or trauma, nor presence of psychopathology or sexual dysfunction in adulthood, belying a disbelief associated with common sense.
Respect for the people and of the roles, communication (before, during, and after sessions), negotiating fantasies, desires, behaviors to be enacted, and limits, establishing safeword (safe word and gesture), rule compliance SSC (healthy, safe and consensual), behaving responsibly are all fundamental and indispensable aspects in approaching this form of sexuality. Complicity, cooperation, and empathy are the necessary ingredients for enjoying the power exchange between two partners who play precise and active roles, namely that of dominant partner and submissive partner, where no acts of competitive performance or defiance are involved. For convenience we will call dom the dominant figure and sub the submissive one, where these roles can be chosen as a personal preference but which, if desired, also allow for the possibility of changing roles (obviously not within a single game session).
Let us look in detail at the meaning of the letters that make up the following the acronym.
B: Bondage
One of the most significant and evocative symbols of the BDSM. This term is understood to mean bonds as a synonym for relationships and ties as the imperative of the verb to bind.
Those who practice bondage reports in both the act of binding and being bound an experience of great freedom, especially mental freedom where the inhibitions of everyday life are dropped and the perception of bodily sensations and emotions aroused and experienced are intensified. With bondage refers us not only to the use of ropes, but to various instruments of restraint: ranging from simple blindfolds, to gags, to handcuffs, and even-for the more daring-to very special furnishings. But back to the ropes. There are two styles of binding, the Western style using synthetic strings and the Japanese style using strings of natural material. The first style is characterized by simple ligatures, often leading to configurations called “predicament bondage,” which place the body in unstable conditions that force the person to choose between two or more positions, all of which are identically uncomfortable or painful. The Japanese style, properly called kinbaku, but now known as shibari, is characterized by specific aesthetics, slow, layered bindings, and asymmetrical configurations. This art derives from the 16th-century martial art used by Japanese soldiers to lightning imprison prisoners of war. We owe the rediscovery of shibari as we know it today to Eikichi Osada (1920 -2001).
Let us never forget the importance of the safety; in courses and manuals, pointers such as: never leave the person tied up alone, always be able to cut ropes (get EMT shears, i.e., first-aid scissors), avoid tying oneself up, don’t overtighten, and avoid specific areas of the body (such as the neck). These safety rules are just some of the various and basic ones to know.
Q: Domination and Discipline
A good Sun is an imaginative, capable, competent (in terms of techniques), and protective director (he will always stop play if he detects the sign of even the slightest danger). He has an authoritative role, being a point of reference, to be trusted and who will be the first to abide by the discipline provided by adherence to rules and negotiation. His pleasure lies in generating and eliciting erotic sensations, experiences and behaviors in himself and in his partner, who will feel free to surrender to his figure.
S: Sadism and Submission
A good sub is he or she who having a clear awareness of his or her own needs (of disinhibition, narcissism, sensory reappropriation, sense of belonging, transcendence, just to name a few) will allow himself or herself to indulge in pleasure and give himself or herself completely to the other. Reliability, obedience and sensuality are some of the characteristics of the sub figure, where he or she will be able to allow himself or herself to create a mental space in which to transcend his or her own boundaries, experiencing this act as a source of pride and ascetic experience (the subspace). Let us always remember: the sub is not a passive person; in fact, we can say that perhaps he/she holds the real power and, in the consensual exchange, allows the dom to fulfill the fantasies of both of them.
M: Masochism
In what sense? Obviously not the clinical meaning of self-harm, but as a journey and play of sensory exploration. Play has a physical component where pleasure and pain come together, and that is what the letter M is all about. Each couple will establish their own boundaries, likes and needs, addressing stimuli for growth and experimentation. BDSM sessions can be enhanced by multiple techniques: restraints, compression, role-playing, etc. Spanking, tickling, pony play, shibari, these and many more are the many facets of various BDSM techniques, which can also involve the use of a variety of equipment. Just give free rein to your imagination and build expertise regarding your own desires and negotiation with your partner–and Ayzad’s books will provide much insight. Safety, consensuality, prevention, and communication take center stage at this time in order to be able to enjoy the best of the experiences tried, untethered from an idea of sexuality based on genital stimulation alone.
The BDSM is this and much more: a culture that promotes the value of diversity and respect. Principles that we can make our own, even if we only practice “vanilla sex“.
If you want to find out more watch the video!
Sommario
A leading expert on the subject, Ayzad, defines BDSM as a collection of erotic games where one partner makes themselves available to the other, accepting and enjoying whatever takes place while the other partner manages the situation.
BDSM involves the dynamics of domination and submission and is a journey of sensory, emotional, and psychological discovery. It is important to note that BDSM is not a deviant or pathological form of sexuality, as it is often portrayed.
The cultural movement of BDSM aims to distinguish it as an atypical sexuality that goes beyond societal norms and is not associated with criminal behavior. Scientific research shows that people who practice BDSM often have greater psychological well-being, extroversion, and couple stability/happiness compared to non-practitioners. BDSM is based on trust, communication, sensuality, honesty, and mutual respect.
The roles of dominant and submissive partners are chosen based on personal preference and can be changed if desired. The BDSM acronym is broken down as follows: B for bondage, which involves restraint and can include various instruments such as ropes or blindfolds; D for domination and discipline, where the dominant partner takes on an authoritative role and follows negotiated rules; S for sadism and submission, where the submissive partner allows themselves to indulge in pleasure and surrender to the dominant; and M for masochism, which involves sensory exploration and the combination of pleasure and pain.
BDSM sessions can include a variety of techniques and equipment, and safety, consent, prevention, and communication are essential. BDSM is seen as a culture that promotes diversity and respect, even for those who only practice “vanilla sex.”
FAQ
BDSM is an acronym that stands for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism. It is a sexual or sexually stimulating practice based on consensuality and informed consent, in which one person exercises control or dominance over the other.
BDSM can be practiced in different forms, depending on the preferences and limitations of the participants. Common practices include binding or restraining a partner (bondage), the use of corrective tools or discipline (discipline), the role of dominant or submissive (dominance and submission), and the induction of pleasure through consensual pain or humiliation (sadism and masochism).
The basis of BDSM is open, honest and consensual communication between all involved. It is important to create a safe environment in which boundaries are established, safe words are set, and established agreements are respected. Informed and ongoing consent is fundamental to all BDSM practices.
In BDSM, it is essential to respect the boundaries and wishes of all participants. A BDSM practice should never be carried out without the informed and ongoing consent of all persons involved. Inflicting injury or permanently harming a person is prohibited. It is also important to avoid the use of drugs or alcohol that may impair the ability to give informed consent.
If one is interested in exploring BDSM, it is advisable to do research and learn as much as possible about the practice. Reading books, attending workshops, or searching online for reliable resources can be helpful. It is also important to find a local community or group that shares the same interests, so you can learn from their experience and access practical advice.
